Wednesday, April 20, 2011

EMails Lulu Would Send Via Her IMalaysia EMail Account

Email 1

Dear Lala,

Did you watch the news just now?
Don't you think Najib is like the bestest PM in the whole wide world? The way he leads the country, unites all the races, the way he allocates our nations wealth to the betterment of our country?
He's like the bestest!
Gush-gush-gush!

And his wife. She's so friendly and warm. And thoughtful and generous.
Love her hair. If only I could do my hair like this.

In spite of the roof having blown off my house and my oldest girl having to end her studies cos i cant afford it even though she scored 10a1's for spm , i still think our country is really fortunate to have najib and the first lady leading the nation.

luv them both!
Lulu
------------

Email 2

Dear Lala,
It was horrible the way THAT senior opposition leader groped me last night.
I want justice, but its not like I'm Saiful can just go see the First Lady just like that.
What should I do? Do reply asap cos I really need to shower but dont want to wash off the evidence.
:( Lulu

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Lulu,
Re: E mail 1

How thoughtless of you! You forgot to acknowledge our First Lady's greatest contribution - the yearly pilgrimage by the other first ladies of the world to Malaysia. You ungrateful wretch... when will you recognise the creativity and hard work put in by her!

Lala


Dear Lulu,

Re: E mail 2

Do I have to teach you everything? Couldn't you just steal an Omega Watch?
Lala.

Anonymous said...

Salam 1Malaysia Dear Lulu!

PM Nagypt and the FLOM wishes to thank you for your e-mail through your brand new FREE 1Malaysia e-mail account courtesy of our distinguished corporate citizen. Our PM's lips are still blushing pink from your kind unsolicited praise.

The unwritten core of PM Nagypt's GTP is to bring a new frontier in governance - "Government Direct2You". We tested this with the PMs CNY sms/email greetings which drew serious views from our intelligent people. This was to our expectations as predicted by our image consultant APCO. NOW, With 1Malaysia email - our PM can send messages direct to your mailbox without being accused of breaching privacy rights as was regrettably spun by irresponsible elements in our society bent on finding faults with whatever this forward thinking leader or ours does. He will have the ability to directly explain to the people his 1MALAYSIA (bcause many do not understand),GTP, EPP, ETP, NKRA, NKEA (many are in shock),PERKASA,1MALAY1BUMI (many are in shock and awe!) etc, and at the same time directly rebuts all the lies spunned by the opposition.

Contrary to the lies being spun that our PM has lost touch on what is going on, he is very much aware that our people can get free e-mail service from Google, Yahoo, Hotmail et al. But these are foreign entities! We should not trust foreigners because we have our own technology advancement programme, for national security reasons. Some of government bills to you are so secret that it doesn't know know yet when,why and how much to bill you and you don't know when you will get them. But you will get them including the cost of this free e-mail.

By your e-mail we are seeing the early positive result of our new Government Direct2You experiment. You and as many friends as possible are hereby encouraged to go to that anti-1Malaysia email facebook page and vote DISLIKE!

The PM reiterates: "you help me, I help you".

Warm Regards.

Datuk Ibat
Officer In Charge
Fast Response Unit
1Malaysia Email Data Centre
Prime Ministers Office

Antares said...

Dear Lala,

Poor Jibby cannot speak. When he appears in public he usually lipsyncs to a pre-recorded speech. He's got it down pat. Why can't he speak? Because his lips are swollen and inflamed and pulsatingly pink - from having been sat too heavily down upon. A most enviable condition, really. Makes you feel like an egg about to hatch. However, I would have chosen a much lighter specimen to be sat down upon.

Er... what has this to do with 1Malaysia Myemail? Oh... that's Jibby's baby brother's project, I think. The whole family makan kuat. But the baby brother still kurus. So koh-koh say he must eat some more!

Tiger said...

Hehehe, good one!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lulu and Lala,

If you keep on this this, Jibby would have you both C4ed

Luv,
Lolo