Saturday, July 25, 2009

If Utusan Malaysia Can Write Fiction, So Can Lulu's Hero

Selangor Oh Selangor 2: Apa ada dalam notebook Beng Hock?

Sepanjang tempoh siasatan itu, Beng Hock bekas wartawan Sin Chew Daily itu dikatakan telah memberi komitmen dan kerjasama sepenuhnya. Banyak dokumen yang perlu disemak satu persatu. Beliau turut dikatakan membantu menyusun dokumen-dokumen di atas meja. Malah beliau berjanji akan membawa lagi dokumen untuk diteliti di pejabat SPRM itu. Tapi semua itu tidak sempat, beliau kemudiannya ditemui mati.

Difahamkan Beng Hock, yang merupakan seorang pemuda yang bercakap lembut dan kaki buku mulai gelisah apabila komputer ribanya mula dibuka. Ia dikatakan berlaku sekitar pukul 1 pagi. Tidak pasti apa ada dalam komputer itu yang menyebabkan beliau terlalu gelisah. Tapi yang jelas bahan-bahan dalam komputer itu amat penting untuk siasatan.

Pihak forensik polis kini dipercayai telah mengambil komputer riba itu daripada SPRM untuk siasatan lanjut.

Apa sekalipun, isi kandungan dokumen-dokumen yang ada dalam komputer riba itu akan diteliti. Mungkin juga ada maklumat-maklumat penting yang boleh membongkar satu demi satu lagi cerita.

Kita tidak tahu apa ada dalam komputer itu, tapi lazimnya sesuatu siasatan polis atau pihak berkuasa lain akan menjurus kepada pelbagai elemen kejutan 'cari benda lain akan terjumpa benda lain'.

Kita juga tidak pasti mengapa pihak di luar sana ada yang 'melompat-lompat' mengenai isu ini. Kadangkala perbuatan mereka itu kelihatan amat pelik. Apakah mungkin mereka juga turut resah gelisah mengenai siasatan itu? Kita tunggu dan lihat perkembangan seterusnya.

anyway, the way he wrote it was
a) like as if he was there.
b) and if he wasnt, then someone who was there told him all that facial expression etc.
c) it was just a moment of his hallucination. Like how he halucinated about Teresa Kok being mean to mosques which caused our Home Minister to put her under ISA for "her protection".

and if it was a) or b), then Lulu would think that he would know the isi kandungan of the komputer riba and would have squealed on it, right?

so, Lulu is more inclined to believe that it is option (c)

and if he can write fiction like this, Lulu's hero can write better fiction.
A friend of Azmi Sharom forwarded the article to him, and this was his response.
[who knows, if the Star can pick up that trashy "truth" for beng hock allegation, this may also make it to front page]

why he was resting at the MACC building. he was afraid that the DAP led by Sifu Ronnie "Slippery Frog" Liu were going to kill him. Unfortunately for him, the DAP are known to be a crack team of ninja assassins. In fact DAP stands for Devil Assassin Pact. They are more feared than the fabled Hand of Kyoto prefecture.

So, while Teoh was having nasi lemak with his protectors the MACC, a team of ninja assassins, led by Tony "Black Fist Dragon" Pua, and Teresa "Mistress of the Killer Thighs" Kok, sneaked into the building unseen. using their stealth power dressed in baju kurungs, they merged with the other staff of the MACC who were milling about at 9 am.

On the pretext of delivering kueh mueh and pisang goreng, they entered the room where teoh was. But instead of karipap, they had smoke bombs which they threw to distract everyone. Then while Gobind "The Bearded Belly of Iron" Singh, knocked out the MACC heroes with his anaconda squeeze kung fu, the other DAP ninjas struck with the flying guillotine. Unfotunately they missed and it sliced Teoh's trousers (which is why it is torn).

Then in a final desperate bid Lim "Ancient Tortoise of Death" Kit Siang, kicked teoh with a special spinning heel backward forward high low chopping and blocking kick which threw him out the window.

That is what happened. Sumpah demi UMNO.

yup. that is what happened. sumpah demi umno.


tupingera said...

dangerous to write such a piece.....UMNO bahagian ampang may take that as the gospel-truth.

they will be demonstrating soon...demanding LKS's head.

BravoEagleHotel said...

Hahahaha ... luckily no CCTV in MACC so all the Ninjas managed to fly through the small openings of the windows in the 14th floor .
Good one Lulu

Anonymous said...

Teresa "Mistress of the Killer Thighs" Kok is going to star in the next James Bond movie filmed in the macc hq in selangor

Crankster said...

Moment of hallucination! You really know how to slap Utusan & Co!

Anonymous said...

Wah! you can get Golden Shoe award for this one. What a waste of talent!