Monday, April 28, 2008

If Lulu Were A Corrupt Person

RM6.1 Billion Space Science University Planned In Kota Tinggi
there are ways to make money out of this you know.
these guys behind the RM6.1billion space university probably have the noblest of intentions to make Malaysia as a reference centre for space science studies. No hanky-panky. Everything honest and above board.
Afterall, RM6.1billion is a no play-play amount, especially in a time where the rakyat are told to eat less rice.

but, if Lulu were a corrupt person and did not believe that she would have to give an account to God, this is what Lulu would do
1. join a self-enrichment body under the pretext of demi maruah of a certain bangsa
2. propose the setting up of this space varsity. could be any project actually, but key words like "bringing back the glory of Muslims" must be in the proposal
3. with active participation from like minded partners and generous "donations", government adopts the project and backs it financially allocating funds to this "noble intention".
4. of course, whilst all this is being agreed, get a huge tract of land alienated to her good self at RM2.52/sf for her "contribution" to the state. sell the piece of land to the government at a 20% discount off the market price, say RM48.00/sf when the project is agreed to.
5. bid for the project with a 300% markup from the baba's construction cost in a alibaba partnership. add in exit cost which requires the government to pay an abominable fine should the project be cancelled. Bridging loan [but of course, provided by MoF]
6. bid and win the contract to buy equipment for outfiitting the labs. Charge RM4,800 for an apparatus whose head is a compact solid mass that is able to deliver the blow to the intended target without itself deforming aka a hammer.
7. sign a 30 year concession agreement that allows you to monopolise the provision of 5,000 sets of meals at RM12.00/meal. Guaranteed increases are given every 2 years. Whether the university jadi or not, there are 5,000 meals required etc, does not matter. Per the concession, you will be guaranteed the 30 years income.

the list is [but of course] not exhaustive.
ah... the things Lulu could and would do, if she were corrupt and if she could ever forget the existense of God

13 comments:

moo_t said...

Let me complete Lulu corruption list.

No. 8 (stand for Cantonese Fatt)
Declare RM 4.6 billions losses and call it as national responsibilities, ask for bail out.

Anonymous said...

shortest route to be a millionaire in malaysia... join bn

myop101 said...

existence dear lulu... existence...

why 5000 meals so little? must be 10,000 la...

thinking said...

After reading that Bernama article, a few questions come to mind:

1. Is this university going to be like MARA where intake is limited to only a certain group of people? 'Cause it certainly sounds like it.

2. Is our tax money being used to pay for it? If so, then..

3. Wouldn't that money be better spent on a space science university which will benefit ALL MALAYSIANS? After all, Malaysians of all races and religious beliefs paid the taxes which are going towards funding it.

If the answers to questions 1 and 2 are yes, then some people's heads need to kena ketuk kuat-kuat.
Way to go towards memupuk perpaduan di antara pelbagai kaum dan bangsa!

Gan said...

So much abuse of rakyat's money reported everyday. almost like worms crawling out of a rotting BN !!

wits0 said...

Only Banana would report such a matter without blinking. It has no feeling after all. If something's from the Gomen, it is never wrong! (IOW, All praise be unto it!) Irrelevant Banana's staffs would be out of a job were it not for the Gomen, wat.

Anonymous said...

You could get rich just by smelling the air inside this SS Uni. What can we poor folks do but just get a 'space high' and feel that grandeur of richness just being in that building which actually cost less than a billion ringgit.

Anonymous said...

Should be renamed "Universiti Pak Belalang" for the capability to produce Mat Jenins and Pak Pandirs, i.e. fools and dreamers. By the way, what scientific discoveries benefitting mankind/malaysians has that astronaut brought back from his journey into space? That roti canai and teh tarik do not taste different in space? Even the monkeys in zoo negara know that!

Anonymous said...

Malaysia is, maybe was, a good & great country. Blessed with many things. The critizens can never really starve because we have consistent rainfall, good soil, good sun, etc.

It is easy to be a good PM in Malaysia. All it takes is just honesty and fairness. If we are suffering, it is not from God's but man-made calamities like corruption, abuse of power, pride, stealing, laziness etc, etc. All that deadly 7 sins of man. I hope there is at least one Malaysian who will strive to be a good future PM. whispering9

Anonymous said...

Since umno can't even produce one good pm after half a century, it is time for the other parties to have a go

kean-jin lim said...

Another question we should think about ~ Graduates from that University (IF yes) are secure for job? We have recent example which the Bac. Forensic Science students will be jobless; don't forget the MUST too.

Are we WHITE Rats in the laboratory?

Gerammmmmmmmmnya......

Sharing said...

LuLu, you are having the Intellectual of at least a Minister!! Or even a PM!! if the BN Government will be there to start this University.

HaHa!!

Anonymous said...

Looks like LULU is a person with IQ similar to LKY, say around 200. You miss some of cos, a few oversea study trip, upgrading with latest techno equipments which could cost billion, this group of warlords are real "war Lord" and are demanding and mean business. Constant revision of plans and dwgs, hundred of variations, supply of materials, the famous 4 levels of sub sub and sub out. so the project cost can change to a monster by the time it is completed. But most likely this is the first bonus to Johoreans after the 308, lulu they are stave to death, give the a chance.