Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Lulu Writes Fiction - The CEO

Once upon a time, there was this new CEO to the corporation. The employees expected him to be different from the previous one as he had a reputation for being religious [good branding] and in his opening speech, he told his employees to work with him, not work for him.

Sad to say, the "feel good" factor proved to be true. Feel only. In truth, a lot of things were crumbling in the corporation.
The CEO, instead of doing a clean-up of his board of directors and management, not only kept the deadwood, he expanded the number of directors.
And the joke going around the office was that CEO a bit slow plus he has problems staying awake at meetings. There were pictures of him falling asleep during regional meetings circulating around the office.

Soon, the employees were told to no pay raise. Worse still, tighten their belts. Milo in the office pantry was removed. Toilet paper was changed to a lower grade and often not available. For business trips, no more hotels. The HR would look for the cheapest rumah tumpangan. Aircon was on at 9:00sharp, and turned off at 6:00pm, leaving you in a pressure cooker environment if you work beyond 6:15pm, which most of them did. The parking in the office was outsourced, and the employees were forced to pay exorbitant rates.
The employees, even through it was tough, knew that for the corporation to survive, they'd have to go along with the belt tightening exercise.

The latest news was that the CEO bought a new luxury jet for his travels. No one knew for sure how much money the company was making for it was a sdn.bhd. and they disgraced and fired the last chap who tried, but based on all the "the company cannot afford it", one would have thought ...
From a whisper here and there, everyone was talking about it. Along the corridors. In the pantry. At the photostat machine. At the watercooler. Even in the offices of middle management. Finally, a group couldn't tahan anymore, and confronted the CEO.
CEO's reply?
"I did not buy a plane. It was leased. That's the sensible thing to do. If we buy it, then we have to be pay for the mainainance and repair. Doesn't make good business sense. ANd it's not for my personal use, the chairman also uses it."
Doesn't sound good, but at least he didn't buy it.
or so they thought.
Then the CEO ter-slipped out
"We are leasing it from Syarikat Cobra Plane"
And this "clarification" was released in the next office bulletin.

The employees were flabbergasted [to say the least] as Syarikat Cobra Plane was a subsidary of the corporation.

Does it get better? Does it get worse? Lulu's not telling yet. But stay tuned to
Lulu Fiction - The CEO Series

the CEO series is a fiction work from whatalulu. It could not bear any semblence to real life as no CEO would be so daft.


Anonymous said...

Aunt Lulu,
I think you terlupa mention that the belt-tightening ordered by the sleepy ceo is for the ordinary staff, and not for the board of directors and management. And a particular fat lady director is the ceo's favorite because she gets to import and sell cars at the corp's expense. And that the corp is going to get pokkai soon.

Lizzam said...

sounds familiar...

macam pernah dengar....tapi di mana ye?

freelunch2020 said...


no MILO in the pantry...that's bad....low grade toilet paper also bad..;D

but....DPM launched CLEAN TOILETS campaign so very good for malaysians.

the fictional CEO should follow our PM's 'bukan cari harta bertimbun-timbun' ways. and start his own nasi kandar biz to make ends meet :D

team BSG said...

Can I humbly apply to be yr contributing small writer.

Only on one condition,
I write da hard core version.

tankiasu said...

Can I re-post this on my blog please..please please please? Of coz I will quote you as the source la. ;-) Can?


mob1900 said...

The above-mentioned CEO treat himself to a 'meal-fit-for-a-princess' while the others have to make do at warungs and kopitiams. Plus, the toilets at facing the south was 'flooded' with poops, thanks to the lower-grade toilet paper.

I urge the shareholders to organise a EGM and to give a vote of 'No confidence' to remove this sleepy CEO.

kittykat46 said...

Hi Lulu,
The CEO of a corporation leases an expensive asset from its own subsidiary in order to avoid having to disclose the purchase.

The annual cost of the lease (maybe 10 - 20 % of the full asset cost) would have been buried somewhere in its bloated budget, so the public would never have known, if not for the brave bloggers.

In a stricter jurisdiction, the CEO of the corporation would be headed for a Jail term or at least told to get another job.