Saturday, December 16, 2006

lulu Astronaut Blog

note : parody ahead

August 11
JJ said that the name of the final 2 will be anounced before Merdeka celebrations end on Sept 16. I wish that they would just cut the farce and name the candidate. The anxiety is killing me.
JJ said the ministry also intended to form an alumni of the last 16 candidates for the astronaut programme as ambassadors to promote science and space studies. They want us to give talks in schools to help promote the study of space science. Afterall, he says the training to be astronauts has taken up so much of their time and we don’t want to waste that.
Aiyah, memandangkan that it took so much of our time already, he want to take even more?
hati berdebar-debar... it's like the gameshow - who will go home, and who will return?

Sept 4
I made it!!!!
Not that I was the best candidate, but the other 2 had problems.
One suffered stress during a gravity test and the other was found to have a medical problem.”
Tak kisah-lah, ya... afterall... I'm the WINNER!!!
All the best to the other two.
Prime Minister urged us to make the nation proud and put Malaysia on the map.
Wonder what sort of scientific research will I be doing on space? Testing the viscocity of some new polymer? Or maybe arresting cancerous cell growth in an airless gravityless environment? Sounds exciting!

Sept 22
Marriage is out of the picture for now. They made me sign a contract that stipulated I could not get married until 2008 to ensure full concentration during the training programme.
Have to tahan. I want my Datukship.
I hope honey understands....

Sept 26
The silly idea of bringing along roti canai and teh tarik has finally been dismissed. Those guys must have baru sedar-ed that our food and diet would be planned by nutritionists.
How did suggestion come about? In March last year, National Space Agency director-general Prof Datuk Dr Mazlan Othman suggested that Malaysia’s astronaut bring along roti canai and teh tarik to share with other astronauts at the International Space Station as a form of food and cultural exchange.

Nov 1
They still have not announced what the reseach will be.
hmm... hopefully a medical breakthrough.

Nov 8
checked out what other astronauts are dong research in.
wow! i don't even understand most of the terminology and since i AM the nation's first astronaut, i'd have to be pretty smart.
but still tak faham.
i wish they'd tell me soon what my research is on.
No one seems too anxious to tell me what it is.

Nov 9
further stem cell research?

Nov 10
effects of zero gravity on our neurons?

Nov 11
prolonged sleep depravation in a controlled chamber?

Nov 12
what? what? what could my research be on? They have been dropping hints that it has not been done before.

Nov 13
1st outer space conception? that hasn't been done before. is that why they didn't want me to get married to honey until 2008? all that silence from them, and the consultations with the ulamaks?

Nov 15
This is so memalufying...
I went online to read theStar, and found out what my research would be.
Headlines say, "Malaysia's first astronaut to do what no one in space has done before". That sounds impressive.
My eyes almost popped out when i read the 1st line
play traditional Malay children's games without gravity.
At least they didn't lie. No one else has done it in space before.
I am supposed to play "batu seremban,'' or "five stones'' and spin traditional Malay tops in space. erh.....
Have to tahan. I want my datukship.

Nov 17
Fingers all blistered. Had to sew my own five stones. Keep poking the jarum into my fingers.

Nov 18
It's not as easy as it seems. Throw one of them in the air, and have to pick up one from the ground, AND catch the one in the air.

Nov 26
After much practise and endurance, much encouragement from my sympathetic Russian mates, i am pleased to announce that I have perfected the art of picking up one stone. Now, can move on to picking up two.
On my way to the datukship!!!

Nov 30
Not making much progress. Two is not as easy as one. hmmm.... good principle for wives too? The Russians are busy reading up on polymer bonds for their research. No time to play with me. Getting quite frustrated.

Dec 2
really, those little girls on my instructional VCD make it look so simple.

Dec 16
breakthrough! can pick up two stones consistently. Have to admit that I was getting really frustrated. This did seem to my archilles heel. other challenges have not been a problem to me so far.
Lulu sms-ed me from KL to tell me that she heard from the radio that the astronauts will be blogging on their experience. Good thing I have a headstart compared to the other guy.


Anonymous said...

May I suggest a few more games for our great "astronant", viz-- batu johor, batu pahang (not Pak Hang),
batu melaka, batu kedah, batu kelantan and so on. And when you are bored with playing all those batus inside the spacecraft (don't worry, an amateur like you won't be allowed outside for a spacewalk with the other real cosmonauts), you can always play with your barbie dolls and of course, your own wonderful couple of marbles(balls). Never fear, the other cosmonauts won't laugh at what you play with-- they are real gentlemen. Hope you, the great Malaysian "astronaut", will not feel insulted by what I say. And don't worry about wasting RM1 billion of the Malaysian taxpayers' hard-earned money...we have lots more left over--in fact we're going to donate RM1/2 billion to Cambridge U. Hope you'll get an honorary PhD in batu-playing from that U. soon.

freelunch2020 said...


this is another contoh of NEP.
dimana tiada usaha tapi dapat faedah.

macam tokoh-tokoh yang memimpin GLC-GLC negara kita, eg Tajudin Ramli - MAS, Vincent Tan (bekas agen insuran yang menjadi tycoon dibawah rejim Tun Mahathir), pemimpin universiti malaya yang tidak menghasilkan apa-apa kertas kajian yang sepatutnya, dll


ps. like Lulu said before, nowadays u can buy space travel packages. so, what did malaysia achieve besides getting some freebies as part of the Razak-Baginda-Mongolian-murder submarine deal with Russia....

Anonymous said...

One version of the legend of Atlantis had it that the super advanced Atlanteans also coexisted with their contemporary Neanderthal (Stone)Age man.....but they were definitely physically separated.


toniXe said...

Me saw the papers today that our science minister( who) says this Bolehland super duper program and coming xperiments good 4 our economics.

my god like primary one schoolkid talking man.

hey go and buy some books from Popular Bookshop or see Discovery also learn more lah !

btw great people already have been in space more than 50 years lah, so wat malaysia want to Xperiment ?

freelunch2020 said...

i am sure u have read Star's frontpage today